Thanks, Frosty
by MedJuris1
Summary: Sometimes even the grave can't hold back a chance at love. Join Jane as she learns.
1. Chapter 1

A/N. Doesn't feel like a great story, but it was in my head. You know how it goes. It won't be very long. Perhaps a few chapters. I appreciate any and all feedback plus favorites and follows. Thank you in advance for every word you read that is written by me. I know you have other stuff you can be doing. Jane and Maura don't belong to me. They belong to Tess and TNT. Their gayness belongs to US, however.

Jane felt guilty that it was Camille who reached out first. She had sworn that she would keep in contact with Frost's mother after his death. It seemed like the right thing to do for her ex-partner and friend. Make sure his mom was doing alright and didn't need anything.

But, life got busy and time slipped by. When Camille called and asked Jane to lunch there was no way that she was going to pass up the opportunity.

"I am sorry that I haven't called, Camille," Jane said. "I know that _you_ know how busy things get for us, but that is no excuse."

It wasn't hard to look as guilty as Jane felt. The truth is that, while she wanted to see Frost's mom, she would obviously remind her of Frost, and thinking about him always hurt.

"It's alright, Jane. I could have contacted you before now, also. And I have to confess something to you … there is a reason I am here besides a social visit."

Jane looked at Camille with concern. What on earth would Camille need from Jane? Was she in some kind of trouble? Now she really felt guilty about not staying in touch. Camille's words took Jane out of her own head.

"Jane, I have something to tell you and I know it is going to sound like totally unbelievable, but just hear me out, okay?"

"Of course, Camille, what is it?"

"Okay. First, I need to ask you. Are you romantically interested in Maura?"

Barely able to register the question, Jane's eyes flew open wide and she involuntarily backed a few inches away from Camille. Did she hear her right? Certainly she didn't _hear_ her right.

"Camille, I'm sorry, what?"

"I asked you if you have romantic feelings for Maura," Camille repeated. Her face serious and clearly expecting an answer.

"Camille, I don't know what you are referring to. Maura and I are only best friends. We are not in a relationship."

Jane was at a complete loss about what was going on. Why would Frost's mom show up to ask her this kind of question? It didn't make any sense.

Camille looked down at her lap for a few seconds before looking up at Jane and responding. "Jane. If there is one thing that I know, it's how a woman looks at another woman when she is in love. Wait," Camille says holding up her hand to stop Jane from interrupting, "just listen to me."

"Barry and I both thought that the two of you shared strong feelings for each other. That you are even in love, but in complete denial or afraid. There are some things that my son did about his belief, and he told me about it. I want to share it with you, but I need you to be honest with me now. Do you have romantic feelings toward Maura? If you say no, then we will speak no more about this."

Jane was speechless. Her mind and heart racing at an exceptional rate. What the hell was going on? Once the fog in her mind began to lift and she was thinking more logically, she began to become angry. Why did Frost and his mom talk about her and Maura that way? The fact that she _does_ have feelings for Maura feels irrelevant. How is that any of their business when it isn't even the business of her and Maura? Hell, it wasn't even her _own_ business, because she never admitted it to herself out loud.

"Look, Camille, I don't know why you and Barry thought...I mean, I don't have feelings for…"

Jane couldn't finish her sentence. She may have never admitted to anyone that she had feelings for Maura, but somehow denying it felt wrong. She was being asked directly by the mother of a trusted friend. And the way that Camille was looking at her told her that she needed to tell the truth.

Jane sighed, and turned to face forward on their park bench. Her eyes sweeping across the Commons. After a few moments she spoke. "About 3 years. I have known that I am in love with Maura for about 3 years. But she is not in love with me. She loves men. I tolerate men, but I love Maura. Now, whatever you have to tell me better be good, Camille, because I have never admitted that out loud to _myself_ , let alone someone else."

Jane turned to see Camille who now had tears in her eyes. Jane wondered why _she_ was the one who was about to cry.

"Jane, hear me out before you begin to ask questions. Maura does love you. She has had feelings for you for years."

After hearing this sentence, Jane began to shake her head _no_ and prepared to argue.

"Wait, Jane." Camille says "Please let me finish. Maura does love you, and I know this because Barry got her to admit it."

Jane drew in a sharp breath. And her mouth slightly dropped open in shock. Now she really _does_ want to talk, but can't seem to remember how.

"Listen, Jane. Barry got Maura to admit to him that she loves you, but he wasn't able to get her to tell you. He couldn't tell you, because he knew it would be wrong. But, he made a deal with Maura. If she would write down that she does love you in a letter, Barry would give it to you if you ever admitted that you loved Maura. He knew you would never tell her. He knew she would tell _you_. She trusted him not to let you see it until you admitted it first. Did you ever tell my son that you love Maura?"

Jane's mind was frozen. She simply did not have the ability to comprehend everything. An admission of love? A secret letter? A deal with Frost? This wasn't her life, it sounded more like one of her cases.

"Wait, Camille. This is all too much. You're telling me that Maura admitted she loves me and she actually wrote it down? And no, I never told Barry. I avoided conversations about my feelings for Maura like the plague."

"Well, Jane. You've admitted it to his Mom. That's good enough."

Without saying another word, Frost's mom reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope. It was a little wrinkled. It had been folded in half. Jane didn't reach out to take it right away. She was still too confused about everything. Too skeptical.

"Camille, how do you know about all this? This letter… this deal with Barry?"

Camille gently smiled at Jane. She understood that she had just shook her foundation.

"Barry and I just spoke about you and Maura and laughed about the crush that we thought you had on each other. When he made this deal with Maura, I actually jokingly scolded him for sticking his nose where it didn't belong. He told me about the letter and I just forgot about it. Just last week I finally felt like I could start going through his belongings. It was then that I found the letter. You and Maura were so good to my son, and he loved you both. I know he would want you to be truly happy. Take it from me and Barry, Jane. You are not guaranteed another day. You shouldn't waste the one you have."

Jane wiped a tear from her face and drew a deep breath. She reached out and took the envelope from Camille's hand. Opening the letter she immediately knew that the words on the page were indeed written by Maura's hand.

 _March 14, 2013_

 _Dearest Jane…._


	2. Dearest Jane

A/N: I am truly sorry that this update took so long. It wasn't intended. Work threw me some curve balls. Anyway, I am thinking another chapter or two? We'll see. Thank you for the favs, follows, and reviews. Even the negative reviews are appreciated, as long as you are not a butthead. : )

 _March 14, 2013_

 _Dearest Jane,_

 _This may be the silliest thing I have ever done, but Barry can be every bit as persuasive and cunning as you. He was able to trick me into admitting my feelings for you, and the purpose of this letter is to tell you exactly what those feelings are. Simply put, I am in love with you. I am not exactly sure when it started, but it happened. Somehow, someway, Barry figured this out. How did he get me to admit it, you might ask? Well, he used the fact that I cannot lie against me. This should make you very proud, since you would have done the same. Don't be upset with him, I am actually grateful that I am finally able to be honest about it._

 _Anyway, he is convinced that you have similar feelings for me, but I know better. And I was steadfast when I told him that I would never confess my feelings. So, he proposed this letter. He promised me that he would never reveal it to you until you admitted to him that you feel the same. Given that I am confident this letter will never come to your attention, I have no reservation in writing to you that you are my whole world. That I love you more than anything I have or anyone else I know._

 _I am a little sad, because as the days go by and things remain the same between us, I will know it is because you never told one of your best friends that you have feelings for me. I suspect that is going to hurt for a while. But, as long as I have you in my life, I am more than privileged and satisfied._

 _One last thing: If, by chance, you do tell Barry you love me, after your read this letter ….. come find me, Jane. Right away. I will always be waiting._

 _All my love,_

 _Maura_

Jane read the letter twice, and then stared straight ahead for several minutes just thinking. She had almost forgotten that Frost's mom was still sitting right beside her.

How was all this possible? She had just had breakfast at Maura's house that morning. They laughed and did the same things they always do. There was no indication that Maura had these kinds of feelings for her. It seemed impossible.

Jane looked at the letter again and noticed the date, March 14, 2013. What was going on in their lives back then? And then it dawned on her… Maura had just donated her kidney to that ingrate, Cailin.

Things had gotten better between the two since then, but Maura was in a very delicate position at that time. She had donated a kidney to someone who couldn't stand her, and her own birth mother didn't even have the decency to contact her and thank her for saving her other daughter's life.

Maura felt alone, and she even became mildly depressed. Jane felt a burst of cold move through her veins when she realized that she was in the middle of her drama with Casey back then, too. His injury, surgery, and moving in and out of her life. Jane thought of all the times she leaned on Maura for support.

And all that time, Maura was secretly in love with her. No wonder why there were times when she barely seemed to be hanging on. It was like every single person she knew was trying to break her heart.

The thought of all this brought feelings up in Jane that made her chest burn like she was being stabbed with a heated piece of rod iron.

Not only had Maura been going through all of that, but at some point, in between it all, she had confessed to Barry that she was in love with her. She penned the very letter that was dangling from Jane's hand.

Jane exhaled and closed her eyes as the most difficult thing to accept crossed her mind, and that was that she loved Maura back then, too.

She had strong feelings for Casey, but deep inside she knew that she was not in love with him. She would have followed him anywhere if she had been. She knows this, because she would follow Maura.

Jane felt a deep sense of regret and guilt. Had she of just admitted to herself the feelings that she had developed for Maura and stopped being so frightened at every turn, things wouldn't have gotten as far as they did with Casey.

And she could have been there for Maura during all of that family crap in the way that Maura needed her.

"Jane. Jane, what are you going to do?"

Camille's concerned voice drew Jane from her thoughts. Jane shook her head. She really had no decent answer for that question.

"I don't know, Camille. Maura wrote this letter over 2 years ago. I mean, I have been with her nearly every day since then. She has never said anything to me, and I never knew or noticed anything. She may not even feel this way about me anymore. It may be too late"

Camille turned from Jane and looked straight ahead. It seemed unbelievable to her that Jane was still looking for excuses to avoid admitting her feelings to Maura.

She understood, as a woman who hid her own sexuality for so long, how difficult it is to come to terms with who you are, but it seemed unfathomable that Jane would consider giving away a very special and literally hand-written invitation to a genuine and whole life with someone.

"Jane, I know you have a lot to think about. And I thank you for meeting with me today. I sure hope we do it again soon, and I promise no big surprises next time. I know you are going to do what you feel is right, but let me just say that I don't believe that the kind of love that Maura has for you ever goes away. Don't let fear make this decision for you. You'll regret it. Take care."

And with that, Camille leaned in and hugged Jane before immediately getting up and walking away. Jane was alone on a park bench once again, with nothing to keep her company but her own confusing thoughts.

And she had a lot of thinking to do.


	3. What to do?

A/N: Thank you to everyone who takes the time to review. It's fun to read them. Thank you for favs and follows, too. Like your thoughts on this. J

Jane had never experienced such unusual and mixed emotions. Part of her wanted to do exactly what Maura had said in her letter and run as fast as she could to Beacon Hill. But another part of her wanted her to keep her butt planted on that park bench.

She wondered what she would say if she _did_ go to Maura. She imagined herself saying something ridiculous like, _"Hey Maura, I told Camille I love you and she gave me your letter. Can we make out now?"_

Jane shook her head. What was she going to do? As if her thoughts about telling Maura were not already overwhelming, what about her family and friends? Maura had some time to think about those things, apparently, but Jane hadn't. She had never truly entertained the idea of a life with Maura since she didn't think the possibility really existed.

Realistically, she knew her family and friends would not be cruel to her or Maura, but that didn't make the idea of informing everyone that she had flipped sides a whole lot easier. She knew part of that was her own junk, but it was real junk to her.

And then there was her excuse to Camille. She really did wonder if Maura could have changed her mind. It had been two years since Maura had written that letter. Surely she could have fallen out of love.

Jane began to think of the relationships that Maura had after that time. _Jack._ She thought for sure that Maura may have been in love with Jack. Jane took in a deep breath as she vividly remembered stuffing her feelings about the whole Jack situation. He really was a good man. He would have been good to Maura, but he wasn't _her_. And deep down, that is who Jane wanted Maura to be with.

Another thought crossed Jane's mind. What did Maura go through those days after Frost's death? Did she think about the fact that her secret was probably buried with him? That he was her best chance of the two of us getting together?

Deep down, Jane felt that telling Maura would be the right thing to do. Not just because she hoped that Maura still felt the same way, but because it really didn't matter. It might mean a lot to Maura to know that Jane really does love her, and loved her, whether or not they were ever going to be together.

Still, the idea of taking that step seemed impossible right then. It was starting to get dark and Jane still wasn't sure what to do. She decided that going home and sleeping on it would probably be a good idea. Maybe she just needed a little time to digest what was going on and clear her head.

She was preparing to leave the bench when an image of someone from across the park caught her attention.

 _Frost._

He was there. Looking directly at her. Standing under a street light.

Jane stared at him for a moment, thinking she was finally losing her mind. When he continued to look at her, she rose from the bench without even thinking and began to walk toward him. As she got closer, she watched him turn and begin to walk away.

 _No,_ Jane thought. _I have to catch him this time. I need to talk to him this time_. She began to pick up her pace as he began to walk across the street.

Jane wasn't paying any attention to where she was walking. Her eyes were focused on Frost's every move.

She lost sight of him as he walked around a corner. Her heart began to race as she ran after him and frantically looked for him.

She thought she had lost him when he suddenly reappeared on the corner of another street. She didn't give a damn if she did look crazy when she called out, "Barry!"

He started walking away again and she followed. He began to run and so did she. The man who had all of the answers she was looking for was currently running away from her, and he is dead.

This fact was not lost on Jane. She thought for certain she had lost it. She had seen images of Frost before, and she really tried not to think too much about it.

She didn't know what was happening, but she could swear that he had helped her solve several of her cases since his death. Until now, she saw it as a weird blessing, but now she felt downright desperate to believe that he was really there.

Her frustrating pursuit was getting the best of her. One minute she would see him, and the next he would vanish or move in another direction.

But then he was gone.

He was so close. She had just seen him walk between two cars. Jane looked around. He was nowhere to be found.

"God damnit," she screamed. "Why is this happening to me?"

She leaned over and put her hands on her knees. She just needed to catch her breath.

When she raised her head, there he was…directly across the street from her. A part of her decided she wouldn't chase him again. He was figment of her imagination. Some grief reaction like Maura explained.

Frost was dead. He wasn't there. She just needed to accept that.

He began to walk away and she didn't immediately follow, until he turned and looked back at her.

He was summoning her.

And it was then that Jane took off. It didn't matter to her if she was crazy. She had seen that look on Frost and simply could not resist going to him.

Running down the street as fast as she could in pursuit of Frost, she stopped apologizing for running into people. She didn't have time to worry about being rude.

He disappeared one minute and then reappeared at the corner of a building. Jane ran after him and rounded the corner without slowing down.

 _"_ _UMPFF!"_

A full-on collision with someone sent Jane bouncing backwards into the building. The person she ran into was doing no better, literally grabbing onto a light post to keep from falling.

Looking over to see what kind of damage she had done, she was surprised to see..

"Maura! What are you doing here?" Jane nearly shouted.

Jane couldn't believe her eyes. She was so momentarily surprised by the head-on with Maura that she nearly forgot what she had been doing. That was until she saw how upset Maura looked, and the sight of Maura upset always drew out Jane's heart.

"Maura. What is wrong?"

If there is one thing that comes before her own drama, it's anything that Maura is experiencing. From the look of it, Maura was pretty upset.

"Jane, promise me you won't laugh, but I have been following someone who looks like…"

 _"_ _Barry."_ Jane finished.


	4. Frost

A/N: I am so sorry that this took so long. I went on vacation and simply did not have time to write. I hope this is alright for ya'll. J Thanks for all the follows, and your reviews were so kind. Thanks so much.

"Barry," Jane finished.

The sound of his name caused Maura to recoil. If she had not been looking at Jane's face when she said it, she would have thought she misunderstood her. But the disbelief she saw matched her own feelings.

Maura never did spook easily. In her mind, everything had a logical explanation that left very little room for anything too thrilling or mysterious. But the moment Barry's name left Jane's lips, goosebumps spread over her entire body.

"Jane, I don't understand. How did you know that I was going to say that?"

Jane didn't answer right away. The truth is that she didn't know how to answer. What was she supposed to say? _Because I have been chasing him, too, Maura. And I thought he could run fast BEFORE! Ha ha ha._

"Jane," Maura repeated breathlessly and with impatience. Clearly unnerved by the situation.

Desperate to reassure Maura and herself, Jane prepared to make up some lame excuse to cover her own discomfort and uncertainly about the situation. It wouldn't be too hard to convince Maura of something bogus. After all, Maura wouldn't likely believe a supernatural explanation, anyway.

"Lucky guess. I'm a detective and you look like you saw a ghost so..." and that was it. Jane stopped mid-sentence. Her sudden awareness of the letter in her left hand made her fall mute. How could she lie to Maura? How could she be this close and not take a chance. The answer was simple.

She couldn't.

Taking a deep breath, Jane steadied herself for what felt like the greatest leap of faith and courage she ever had to muster.

"Maura, I'll tell you how I knew you were following Frost in a minute, but there is something else I need to tell you first. I owe you an apology, because I didn't come to you right away when I first read this."

Jane raised the letter to show Maura, who immediately drew in a sharp, ragged breath. She recognized it right away. If Maura looked pale before, she looked positively faint staring at the letter.

Seeing the look of fear on Maura's face caused Jane's heart to ache with the desire to soothe her. "It's okay, Maura. Camille gave this letter to me because I told her … I told her that I love you,"

Jane began to ramble. "She knew about your agreement with Frost and made me admit it before giving it to me so I told her that I have loved you for a very, very long time I still do and I'm terrified that you don't feel the same way..."

 _Umpff_

For the second time in less than five minutes Maura crashed into Jane, but this time their lips took the brunt of the force and Jane was once again pushed back into the wall.

Maura didn't comprehend anything Jane said after she heard the words, "I love you." After all of these years, she had given up hope. She simply couldn't bring herself to tell Jane her feelings, and when Barry died she lost the only person she had ever admitted it to. The only person who she could ever talk to about it.

"Of course, I still love you. You big …drug!" Maura cried, wrapping her arms around Jane's neck and holding her as close as she could.

"Big dope, Maura. I think you mean big dope," Jane chuckled.

They looked at each other before erupting in laughter. Jane couldn't help but get the sense that this was so like them.

When they began to settle, Jane knew it was time to do some explaining. It didn't really matter if Maura believed that Frost led them to one another, Jane believed it. She believed it with her whole heart.

Despite her love for Maura's hard science mind, Jane always left room for something more. Something unexplainable. Something spiritual, even.

"Maura, I knew you were going to say that you were following Barry, because….because I was following him, too. He appeared to me at the park. He led me to you, Maura." Jane didn't know how Maura would respond. She knew she needed to give her some time to process it.

Maura was quiet for a minute. A sea of emotions and wonder formed in her eyes and Jane could do nothing except watch while Maura tried to the find logic and understanding in what Jane had said. When she responded, her words didn't surprise Jane at all.

"Jane, you know how hard it is for me to accept that what you are saying is really what happened. For that matter, it's just as hard for me to believe my own eyes. A part of me wants to argue that the two of us may have experienced some kind of shared hallucination. It has been known to happen," Maura argued. Not looking entirely convinced.

Jane smiled at her. This is the woman she loves. It was exactly this quality that intrigued her so many years ago. How Maura would argue against something that was improbable in favor of something else that was improbable, but at least sounded scientific.

"Maura, I really don't know what happened. But I do know that I want to kiss you again. I have waited a really, really long time."

And Maura didn't keep her waiting.

As they began to walk away in the direction of nowhere in particular, holding hands as if they had been doing so for years, Jane decided to give it one more try..

"I swear it was him, Maura, I chased him all over the place and when he led me around that corner, I ran square into you."

"Squarely, Jane," Maura corrected.

"Yeah, yeah. Mr. Adverb," Jane replied, squeezing Maura's hand.

 _"…_ _. and that is how it all went down, Barry. I owe it all to you. My whole life is changed now, and I have never been this happy._

 _I am sorry that I haven't come here to visit you in a while. Maura and I … well… we have been, ahem, catching up on things the last few months. And NO I won't give you any details. Perv._

 _It's been a real adjustment. Of course, Ma just wants us to have kids and Crowe keeps looking at Maura and I like we should include him. Yuck!_

 _I haven't seen you since Maura and I got together. She hasn't either. She and I don't talk about what happened too much. But, I'll tell you what I believe. I believe it was you. I believe you were still looking out for us. I believe you finally had the ability to give me the desire of my heart… so you did. It is the best gift anyone could have ever given me."_

 _Thanks, Frosty."_

The End.


End file.
